Dental Terms Glossary with Humor Added

This is a dental health terms and glossary list. Some humor has been added for your enjoyment.

Abscess.

1. A type of lighting.

2. Inflamed puss or swelling around a tooth. It means you ate some bad food.

Amalgam.

A poisonous tooth filling material that everyone says is not poisonous when it is in your mouth. When it is outside of your mouth, it is toxic.

 

Bruxism.

A condition of tooth grinding and clenching caused by angry or constipated people. ).

Caries.

1. What you do with your groceries.

2. A terrible disease inflicted upon the masses by the the processed food industry.

Cavity.

The thing you get that forces you to stop procrastinating your visit to the dentist. Caused by eating the wrong types of foods.

 

Composite.

A fake tooth material used when your body stops producing real tooth material.

Crown (or cap).

A sign of honor placed upon your tooth when you have not eaten a good diet. FYI, many "porcelain" crowns still have metal in them.

Dentin.

1. This is what happens when you bump your car up against something.

2. The middle layer of the tooth, were tooth remineralization can occur.

 

Enamel.

1. A type of dishware.

2. The outer layer of the tooth made of calcium hydroxyapatite (hard stuff). Enamel can be rebuilt up according to testimonials of people who have written me. Dentists will say enamel cannot be restored.

Filling.

The stuff that you put in pastries that causes tooth aches.

 

Gingivitis.

1. An ancient chinese herb for health.

2. Arthritis of the mouth and tooth joints. Each tooth is cemented into place with ligaments and special cartilage. Gum inflammations occur when the body is out of balance, many times from poor digested.

Impacted tooth. A tooth confused about which direction to grow due to a poor diet. Teeth impact not because of genetics but because there is not enough space in the jaw for the tooth to fit. This lack of space is due to a poor diet, it is a result of blocking our genetic potential with inferior foods and drugs.

Orthodontist. Usually a male who drives around in a new Mercedes or BMW who owns a second home in Hawaii. Ideally they correct facial imbalances which are a result of a poor diet. I have some recommendations on where to find more holistic orthodontists in the middle of the page.

Periodontal.
1. A period of time that comes after the neolithic age, but before the mesolithic age.
2. Also a ligament that supports teeth.

Periodontitis.
1. Inflammation of the time period after the neolithic age but before the bronze age.
2. A ligament that supports the teeth.

Plaque.
1. A symbol of achievement you put on your wall.
2. Also the soft stuff that sticks to your teeth as a result (not of bacteria) but imbalanced digestion and imbalance in the calcium/ phosphorus ratio in the blood stream.

Root canal. Expensive plumbing treatment for your mouth.

Tartar. A sauce used on fish dishes that may stick to your teeth.

TMJ (temporomandibular joint dysfunction). A complicated term that means your mouth hurts or is sore when you bite.

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